


Potter's Army

by Lacrima (lege_et_lacrima)



Series: Stories About Ginny Weasley's Disappointing Future [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, dumb shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 09:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lege_et_lacrima/pseuds/Lacrima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All of their kids are named after Harry's heroes. What does Ginny think of this? Oneshot, full of silliness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Potter's Army

"GINNY? CAN YOU GET THAT? IT'LL BE RON," Harry hollered from the living room. Ginny suppressed a sigh and waddled over to the front door, nearly breaking her neck stumbling over a hovering toy broomstick that had been absent-mindedly left in the corridor by one of the Potter's many children. She pulled the door open and was face to face with her goofy, gangly-looking brother.

"Hey Ginny. Wow, you're getting huge. Like, really, really huge." Ron, as tactless as ever, gesturing unnecessarily at Ginny's heavily pregnant belly.

"Ron, you'd think that by my eighth pregnancy you'd have gotten used to me being as big as a house," she replied coolly.

"Well, yeah, but still…"

The two redheads walked back down the hallway to the living room, where Harry gave a yell of happiness as his best friend sat down next to him. Harry gave Ginny a look which seemed to mean 'get us another coupla Butterbeers will ya, darl?' She repressed yet another sigh as she did as her husband wanted, leaving Harry to launch into a lengthy story about work to the enraptured Ron.

"Ah, here comes little Dobby Xenophilius!" she heard Ron call as their second-youngest hurtled into the living room, most probably chasing the cat. Really, sometimes Dob could be worse than James when it came to wreaking havoc. Waddling back into the living room with the aforementioned desired drinks, Ginny tossed them at Harry and Ron, and was faced with the eager eyes of not only Dobby Xenophilius, but also Minerva Pomona, Rubeus Neville and Myrtle Parvati. Honestly, only Harry could want to name one of his children after his supernatural stalker. But that was they way he was, with the naming, and the constant referring to them by both their first and middle names. She didn't even bother to hide her next sigh as she summoned a jug of pumpkin juice from the kitchen, not wanting to get out of her seat again until either the next baby popped out, or the next ice age came and went. Whatever came first.

"Harry…" she asked tentatively, "I was thinking, that if our next child was a boy, we could call him Oliver."

"Brilliant!" Harry said, smiling. "Oliver Wood would be thrilled that we named one of our kids after him. after all he's done for me, it's only fair."

Ginny coughed. "Oh, er, I wasn't thinking about that Oliver… I just liked the name. Maybe Anthony? That's a nice name."  _Nice safe name_ , she thought.  _We don't know any Anthonys_.

"Oh. Um. Well, I guess we could, but it's a bit weird naming our kid after Anthony Goldstein. I mean, it's not like I was that close to him. It's kinda creepy, ain't it Ron?" His ginger friend nodded in agreement. "You kinda knew him, but I don't know him enough to name my youngest child after him."

It took every inch of Ginny's self-control to not bash her head on the coffee table. "Harry, not all of our kids has to be named after someone we know."

"Well I just want to uphold the memory of those who've helped me out over the years. Pay them my respect, yaknow. Show them I care about them."

"Yes, but surely there are better ways of… oh, nevermind."

"Anyway, if it was a boy I want to call him Cedric Draco. Just 'cause, you know…"

"Oh for CHRIST'S SAKE!" Ginny yelled, causing Dobby Xenophilius to topple over and smash a nearby lamp. "Harry, I know you pretty much single-handedly saved the world from Lord Voldemort, but can I just choose the name of  _one_  of our children? Please?"

"Well, I guess… well, you were friends with Luna too, so you kinda half named half of Lily Luna…" Harry ran his hand against his three-day growth on his chin ('I think it makes me looks sexy, don't you?') and looked contemplative. Ginny, however, looked like she was going to hurl something very heavy at Harry's face.

"Harry," she said, voice dangerously calm. "Let me name one of my children. If I have to carry it 'round for nine months and pop it out at the end, then I should get to choose the name of at least  _one_  of my babies."

"Woulda thought You'd've gotten used to it by now, Gin…" Ron thought aloud. Bad move.

"OH YES, RON. I'M COMPLETELY USED TO SQUEEZING SOMETHING THE SIZE OF A WATERMELON OUT OF MY VAGINA. NICE WEASLEY HIPS, GOOD FOR POPPIN' OUT LOTS AND LOTS OF BABIES. THAT'S THE WAY IT WORKS IN RON-WORLD, ISN'T IT?"

"Ginny, please, you're making a scene in front of my kids" Harry muttered, resting his head in his hands.

"OH. OH NO, HARRY, YOU DID  _NOT_  JUST REFER TO THEM AS  _YOUR_ KIDS. GOD HELP YOU IF YOU DID. YOU JUST SWAN IN AT THE END AND NAME THEM AFTER YOUR HEROES AND NOT-SO-MUCH HEROES, AND NOT HAVE TO LIFT ANYTHING LARGER THAN A FINGER BEFORE THEN. THEY'RE YOUR KIDS, DEFINITELY. JAMES SIRIUS, LILY LUNA, ALBUS SEVERUS, DOBBY XENOPHILIUS, RUBEUS NEVILLE, MINERVA POMONA, MYRTLE PARVATI, AND NOW YOU WANT CEDRIC DRACO. THE NAMES JUST GET MORE AND MORE RIDICULOUS AS THEY COME. MOANING MYRTLE WAS YOUR FRIGGIN'  _STALKER_ , AND YOU SPENT A GOOD CHUNK OF YOUR LIFE HATING MALFOY'S GUTS. AND NOW YOU NAME YOU KIDS AFTER THEM? IS YOUR HEAD REALLY SO SWOLLEN THAT THAT MAKES SENSE?"

She took a deep breath, and Harry, Ron and the kids could do nothing but gawp at her.

"I do everything for this family, and you just swan around doing very little 'cause you're Harry friggin' Potter and you saved the world."

"Well, I did…"

"Shut up, Harry. I do so much work for these kids, and you get all the limelight, naming them after your heroes, because they're  _your_  kids. They should be MY kids. But no, they're your own little army. Potter's Army, not Ginny's Army. That's what you're doing." And on that note, Ginny hefted herself out of her armchair and walked across the room.

"Where're you going, Ginny?" Harry and Ron asked, almost in unison.

"I don't know. But if you follow me, god help you I will name this child either after Cormac McLaggen or Dolores Umbridge."

Harry paled. "You wouldn't. You wouldn't dare."

"Don't push me." She gave the two men a twisted grin and headed off to walk out the door, only pausing to grab her coat.


End file.
